Sexual Deviants Living In A Web 2.0 World

The latest issue of “The Dominant’s View” is online now. Kayla did an interview with me for this issue that I recommend you read if you want to learn more about moi and why I started FetLife.

Here is a quote from the interview:

I come from a very traditional Greek family and from as early as I can remember I just had these fantasies about making girls do what I asked them to do. I really thought I was fucked up for being that way because I sure was not brought up to treat women this way so I repressed the feeling for a very long time. This was even before I had any clue what sex was. I would just make girls do things in my fantasies and it would just excite me to no end.

Other articles from this the most recent edition of The Dominant’s View include: “Death of a Munch”, “BDSM Art”, “Fear of Heights”, “More then sex sex sex Never! Offers from submissive men”, “Kinky or Not?” and “Book Review: Beyond the Looking Glass”.

→ Interview - FetLife → The Dominant’s View - Volume 9

If you are then why aren’t we following each other?

Ahh… you never heard of Twitter and don’t know what it is… I gotcha… here is the explanation directly from Twitter.com:

Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?

I had no clue how many kinksters were on it. Thanks to PizzaBabe for pointing them out to me. Just check out the list of people I am following for who she suggested I follow!

→ Check out Twitter.com
→ My Twitter Page

Wow, very cool four minute interview of a Dominatrix done by a Canadian show called “The Hour“. The thing that shocked me the most was the going rate… $350/hr… much higher then I would of ever guessed.

Here is a list of questions asked to the Dominatrix:

• what happens during a typical session?
• what does it cost?
• do you see a lot of freaks?
• what if things go to far?
• do you have limits?
• is it cheating?
• are Dommes control freaks?

Check out the interview…

Before today, you followed the latest activity feed on FetLife’s homepage to keep track of what your friends have been up to. That works, but what if you wanted to know what just one of your friend’s have been up to? You couldn’t.

Starting today, we will start showing each kinkster’s latest activity on their profile page. :-)

Why? Their are a couple reasons but these are the two big ones:

• if you have not logged in for a while to FetLife and want to see what one of your friends has been up to all you have to do now is go and check out their profile
• found someone interesting and want to see what they have been up to? You get it right their on their profile so you can get a better feel for the type of person they are.

I am really excited about this! This way when I have not logged into the site for 8 hrs I can just go and check my friends profiles to see what they have been up to! :-)

Note: Anything done before now does not appear in your activity log on your profile page… only starting now will things be added to your activity log on your profile page.

What do you think?

I feel so bad for people who get emails from me… I am not sure they ever make sense but I felt the need to share one of the last emails I sent to a friend with you.

I have this new thing for girls wearing vampyre makeup giving head… it is really weird… holly shit… it is not my fault… some girl uploaded a pic to FetLife and I was like what the fuck… and then I was… hey… I thought you were taking a nap… and he was like… not anymore, let me see… I was like are you sure… he was like, if you don’t move I am going to piss in your face… and I was like ok little guy, not need to get pissy!

The important thing is that I make myself laugh! :-)

Don’t get too excited… we do not have a “Forum” just yet on FetLife. To be very honest, one of the reasons we do not have a forum is because I am not convinced on the direction to take the Forum in. At least not a direction I am comfortable with.

So, here is where I am so far in my thinking. To start off with, the following are decisions I have made that I am really excited about.

• I will not personally moderate the forum, nor do I believe in moderators in the traditional sense.
• The community as a whole will moderate itself. Each person will be an given equal say in what is removed on the site. Each one of you will be able to “vote up” or “vote down” any post or comment that really liked or really did not like. And if a certain threshold is reached the post or comment will get permanently removed from the system. This way nobody has the burden of having to play God.

Now, it is the following question that I ask myself everyday that has been driving me crazy and preventing me from implementing some type of forum.

Where will the forum live in the site?

Yeah, yeah, sounds like a dead simple question but for me it is not: Will we just have a forum section on the site? Will I just add a forum to each fetish? Will I just add a forum to each location? Maybe even add a forum to both each fetish and each location?

I have to admit, intuitively I do not like the idea of having just a forum section, I feel like it does not add much value to the community like that. I prefer a forum being attached to either each fetish or to each location so their is more context to each discussion. But then again maybe my hesitation comes from neither of those solutions being good enough either.

What do you think?

Exciting stuff I tell you. Last night I had the pleasure of being interviewed about FetLife by Kayla Kuffs of the soon to be resurrected online magazine titled “The Dominant’s View“.

I have to say being interviewed is not as easy as some might think. After what felt to me as a rough start it ended up going a lot more smoothly though. I hope Kayla felt the same way.

I have to say that I am really lucky to be apart of the BDSM/Fetish community. I am always impressed with all the great people I meet in the community. People like Kayla who make so many sacrafices in her life just so that she can contribute to the community. In this case through her online magazine.

Thank you Kayla for your BDSM e-Zine and for asking to interview me! I had a lot of fun doing it!

Comments made in a picture you uploaded to FetLife, should only friends be able to comment on your pictures? Or should the whole community be able to comment on your pictures?

Their are pros and cons with both.

If only friends can comment on your pictures…

• Pros: You will feel more comfortable uploading pics because not just anyone will comment on your pictures. (Problem will be magnified with more people signing up.)
• Cons: You will not get as many comments.

If anyone can comment on your pictures…

• Pros: You will get a lot more comments.
• Cons: You will get a lot more comments. A lot more emails because of people leaving comments. You will have to manage your comments. And you might get annoyed and stop uploading pictures. (You can not delete comments made on your pics just yet.)

Maybe it is each to his or her own. Some want everyone to be able to comment and others want to limit it to their friends.

I might have not made any sense here but if I did and you have an opinion please chime in. If I made absolutely no sense here but have an opinion on some other subject well then chime in as well! By chiming in I mean leave a comment in the comment section :-p.

No seriously, I can’t believe it. This is really friggn funny or sad or something else. I can’t figure it out LOL.

Thanks to HeadMaster for sharing this with me on FetLife. He describes the show as follows:

Alexyss Tylor hosts a show with her mother in what can only be described as the oddest conversation about sex, ever. What kind of sex has she been having?

Enjoy my friends LOL…

And I was hoping to not have to deal with this aspect of my job for at least another couple of weeks… but unfortunately I was not so lucky!

One of the most important parts of my job is to protect everyone on FetLife from the bullshit and assholes we sometimes come across on the internet. I have to admit the assholes are far and few between but all it takes is a couple rotten eggs to ruin the experience for everyone.

A new friend of mine I meet through FetLife forwarded me a message she received from a guy on FetLife that really disturbed both her and I. At first I was like, maybe the guy was having a bad day and I will send him a polite “please don’t do this again” email. But after doing 5 minutes of research I found out this guy sent the same disturbing message to 34 different women. Now that upset me!

It upset me because I felt like I was doing a bad job at protecting everyone from the .01% of the population that does not know the difference between play and being a jerk face.

So what did I do about this person after doing my research. I saved all the information I have on him including his IP address. I deleted his account and everything to do with him and I sent him a polite message explaining that I am sorry but I had no choice but to suspend him from FetLife and delete his account.

In the email I explained exactly why I made the decision to delete his account and I also told him that he is more then welcome to email me if he wants me to listen to his side of the story. But if he goes and creates another account and does the same thing all over again I will forward all the information I have on him including what he has sent to members of FetLife both to his ISP and to the local authorities.

You might think this is extreme but you had to see what this guy was saying and what he was portraying himself as. It was unethical and really scary!

Why am I telling all of you out their about this is because I want you to know I take this shit seriously and if anyone sends you anything you feel that makes you feel uncomfortable please don’t hesitate to forward it to me… you might not be the only that is being rubbed the wrong way by that user!

Together, as one, we will beat these jerk faces down! (My new favorite expression… jerk faces… LOL)