Sexual Deviants Living In A Web 2.0 World

I have been exchanging emails back and forth with TwistedA and he just recently introduced me to a new term: Heteroflexible

‘Heteroflexible’ was a term that BlackOrchid introduced to me, to help me better self-identify. My understanding is that it basically says to the world, “yes, I’m a person who loves people of the other sex (=heterosexual) but I’m also a very open-minded person who won’t rule out some sort of sexual encounter at some point with a person of the same sex”. Thus, giving rise to the combination of the two words “heterosexual” and “flexible”. It also suggests that while I may normally prefer the opposite sex I’m not entirely “straight” in the traditional sense.

The reason I like that term so much is that the other similar terms don’t really ring true for me. To me, ‘bisexual’ means someone who’s interested in exploring not only occasional contact but also fully realized relationships with people of both genders. To me, ‘bi-curious’ seems like someone who hasn’t made up their mind yet. It could mean someone who really isn’t sure whether or not they might want those contacts and relationships someday so is leaving the door open. And that’s why I’m not really comfortable identifying with either of those terms.

Whereas ‘heteroflexible’, in my mind, sets a clear definition of who I am and what possibilities I’m leaving open. I’m not really bi, but I have made up my mind. So I’m neither of the other two terms. I primarily identify as a heterosexual, but I’m completely open-minded about interacting with another guy, though am not interested in a true bi-sexual relationship.

I really think popularizing this term heteroflexible is very important. There is a big gap between bi-curious and bi-sexual and Heteroflexible fills it.

For me bisexual means you like both sexes equally and bi-curious means you have never been with the opposite sex before but once you are you might consider liking both men and women equally once you do try.

Part of me even says we do not even need bi-curious anymore. Bi-curious is not a sexual orientation, it just means you want to be sexual with someone of the opposite sex so you can requestion your sexual orientation and bi-curious is not a sexual orientation by itself.

I have gotten a couple really interesting emails from people that is leading me to requestion the sexual orientations that are listed on FetLife. This is good! :-)

UPDATE: Thanks to MasterABD for looking up Heteroflexible in the Urban Dictionary for us:

“A person who enjoys sex with both male & females but considers themselves heterosexual in the sense that they do not relate with the same sex for an emotional relationship like a bi-sexual could. Heteroflexible is a heterosexual person that is beyond the bi-curious stage but would never engage in an emotional relationship with the same sex.”